There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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