i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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