I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
