sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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