I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
