I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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