His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
