if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
