Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
