I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
