we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
