I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
