I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize