i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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