Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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