my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
