im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
