Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My balls are so social today.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We need to get me chipped asap
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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