my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm like, not good at living.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
