remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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