Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
