Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
