Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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