y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
