So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
