Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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