if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
