So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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