haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
