I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
