I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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