Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
