I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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