none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
