she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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