maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
