You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
