i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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