it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
