i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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