who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize