What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize