they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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