I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
