I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
