If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
