So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
