So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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