you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
