the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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