You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
