Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
