he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
