Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
