i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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