I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize