my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We have started to decorate penises.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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