Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
