So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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