fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize