After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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