i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
