Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
