do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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