Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
