It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
