Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
