This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
