I wish I could punch you in the face.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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