hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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