He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
